


Matrimony

by cognomen



Series: Cognomen's List of Things that Aren't Reptiles [6]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Established Relationship, Multi, marriage as part of their cover, mention of russian courtship rituals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 23:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13600689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognomen/pseuds/cognomen
Summary: February Ficlet Challenge Day 6; Pairing: Napoleon, Illya and Gaby, Prompt: Accidental Marriage.“It was faster and easier just to have a known official draw up and file the papers,” Waverly reports cheerfully. “Almost too easy, I’d say. I waved a little money and like magic, I had two marriage certificates. I’d wager he’d done it before.”





	Matrimony

Really it’s just for a job, an undercover affair that was long haul. The paper trail had to be right.

“You’re telling me that you didn’t just forge all that paperwork?” Napoleon is the first one to get his thoughts around what Waverly is telling them.

“It was faster and easier just to have a known official draw up and file the papers,” Waverly reports cheerfully. “Almost too easy, I’d say. I waved a little money and like magic, I had two marriage certificates. I’d wager he’d done it before.”

“We were not engaged,” Illya says stubbornly, as if tradition enters into any part of what they do.

“It’s not really legal, is it?” Gaby asks, putting a hand on Illya’s arm to steady him.

“Well,” Waverly temporizes. “It’s officially filed. Had to be, just in case anyone thought to check. So…”

Napoleon’s amusement is inversely related to Illya’s outrage. Just another forged aspect of his life, he supposes. Illya looks like he’s holding back a volcano. It seems strange for him to be so upset over something that was almost the truth anyway.

“I can undo it, chaps,” Waverly assures, as the temperature surrounding Illya seems to drop sharply.

“Well, you’d best. I think you’ve besmirched the Red Peril’s honor,” Napoleon says, trying to keep from laughing outright. It won’t help the situation.

Illya turns an enraged-bull sort of look on Napoleon, and butterflies flutter in Napoleon’s belly for it.

“Is not  _ honest _ ,” Illya says, stabbing each word out. “And no Russian man would have his woman married again behind his back.”

“Naturally,” Napoleon says. “Only in front of his eyes.”

“Naturally,” Gaby agrees, with a secretive smile.

“I suppose  _ I’m _ the source of Illya’s unfortunate cuckolding?” Napoleon asks, pleased with the notion as ridiculous as it seems. 

“Rather the other way around, I’m afraid,” Waverly elaborates, dashing Napoleon’s pride casually aside. “Sorry, old chap.”

Illya gives Napoleon a wicked grin, and Napoleon lets him have the victory if it means he won’t have to sleep in a ransacked room.

“Anyway, it’s all more of a point of interest at this time anyway,” Waverly says, doing his best to solder on before anyone else sidetracks the conversation. “I’ve sent someone to retrieve the documents and that’ll be the end of it. They were only for your aliases, anyway.”

“Next time, ask before we are are all married,” Illya grumps.

“I rather think that’s something you should work out between the three of you,” Waverly retorts.

Napoleon’s certain they could never figure it out. Illya would insist on some long and complicated courtship (longer and more complicated even than the courtship they’re currently undergoing) and Gaby would want to elope. Napoleon falls squarely in the middle, desiring never to be attached at all.

They’ve found partnership to be a better blissful fit than matrimony, even if the latter came as surprise.

“Ready for your next assignment?” Waverly asks, as Gaby settles comfortably in a chair and pulls Illya down next to her. 

“Now hang on just a moment,” Napoleon interjects. “Don’t we get any time off for our honeymoon?”


End file.
